In the silence I hear my heart beating

I can't recall the last time the house was this silent. My wife and son are asleep, there is no construction going on outside the window, the TV is off, and I have even freed myself from the ubiquitous iPod for the evening. No sound other than the keyboard and the freight train of thoughts running through my head.

The silence is even more treasured given how noisy things were earlier on. Poor William, due to - something - did not want to sleep, concerning because of how little sleep he has had today. As can happen, putting him down to sleep was met with a great deal of resistance and "crying like he swallowed the fiery moon."

Fortunately, numerous efforts did eventually work, and William has been asleep for just over two hours. Tiffany, exhausted, followed soon after. I am standing (okay, sitting) guard next to William's room, listening to the baby monitor and feeling my heart skip a beat every time I hear a peep, hoping it's not a precursor to him waking up and starting this process over again.

My first concern is for William's well-being. We had him on a fairly strong routine over his first two months, but difficulties arose last week with the onset of a growth spurt. The standard "Eat, play, then go to sleep" cycle hasn't worked out well in these recent days. We are aware how important sleep is to William's growth, so we're hoping that with some minor adjustments, he'll be able to get to sleep easier once more.

Then there is my poor wife - as if she hasn't been put through enough, she operates on a 24-hour cycle. I worry that she doesn't get enough sleep, so I'm thrilled that she hopped into bed right away. With William's pattern being as unpredictable as it is, who knows when she'll have to get up to feed him again?

Tiffany and I are both people of routine, so whenever a curveball is thrown, it raises our panic levels somewhat. As I held William, trying to rock him as he howled, I thought to myself, "What if this doesn't work? What will you do the next time?" As any parent will tell you, raising children is like facing a great deal of curveballs. You can't predict anything. It's terrifying, but also a good way to break out of a routine, and think outside the box a bit. It's just that the stakes are so high.

So I sit in silence, listening for my baby, but hoping to hear nothing. I have been too scared to turn on the dishwasher, fearing any sound would wake William, but perhaps the time has come to get on with it.

Season Premiere

I would like to thank you all for the letters, calls, and emails I received asking, "Did you ever end up having the baby?" Initially, I had thought that I would write until the child was born, and at that point, this journal would become obsolete. However, my dear wife has mentioned that there would be value in changing the subject to discuss the ongoing world of fatherhood rather than impending fatherhood.

I agreed, but then I thought, much like classic television shows, I should create a space in between these two epochs to create a "cliffhanger" scenario. Did they have the baby? Was it a boy or girl? Did the baby have all fingers and toes?

Well, the answers are:

Yes.
Boy.
Yes.



William Joseph was born two months ago today, on a cold, overcast 14th of September, 2010. It was a bit of a harrowing evening, but he arrived happy and healthy.

Today is the two month marking of his birth. I would say that it seems like time has flown by, but it hasn't. There have been so many occurrences in the past two months that it seems like he's been around a year already.

Still, William has been better than we ever expected. He sleeps well, he eats well, he's great with people, and doesn't cry unless it's for a reason (usually from gas or being overtired). A good deal of that has to do with the lessons Tiffany learned from The Baby Whisperer and her use of the Baby Connect iPad application to track his every move. It's amazing to be able to track (and usually predict) his behaviour.

William's advancing at a strong rate. He's already flipped over, spoken lots of gibberish, given lots of smiles, and has the bad habit of trying to French kiss his dad (we'll fix that). I enjoy waking up and getting him up because lately he's been in a good mood while in the waking process. I can't wait to see him every day as he changes.


Yay William!